Void

Sorry for the lack of updates, many of the memories I have are shattered and very difficult to describe. There is one that is very vivid and clear from when I was asleep. There was nothing, just my consciousness, I don't really know how to describe this, try closing your eyes and relaxing. All that is there now is black, now try to imagine what it would be like without the black. There was nothing at all, I thought I was dead, or very close to it at least. I had no idea what had happened to me but I remember thinking that I was done for.

There were no bright lights, or pearly gates. Just a vast void, no darkness or light, that would have been something, just me. Not my body though because again that would be something. Just thoughts and nothing else. This went on for what felt like a very long time, although there was nothing to gauge the passing of time, without matter though I suppose time would not exist. While I was there though all I did was question life and what it is. I was forced to face my mortality, and I am terrified of it. Nothing matters in that place, the things Ive done, the people Ive met, none of it was there. All that was was the constant thought that I was dying, or dead for that matter I wasn't sure.

Its odd I never really questioned my mortality. I knew that one day I would die but that was a distant time and I didn't need to worry about it. When I was locked inside my head it was the single overbearing thought.

So I guess the moral of the story is enjoy you lives, don't have regrets and just be happy. If your unhappy you are doing it wrong. Never put things off that you want to do, there might not be a tomorrow.